To wait
by Royal Dee
Summary: AU. Athrun and Cagalli are lovers, but not quite. Just casual. And it’s painful. But more than that is not allowed. They are to neither move forward, and they certainly do not want to move back.


**Summary:** _AU. Athrun and Cagalli are lovers, but not quite. Just casual. And it's painful. But more than that is not allowed. They are to neither move forward, and they certainly do not want to move back._

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**To wait.**

The plastic chairs have been stacked in one corner, the tables cleaned of their mess. The food stalls are empty—of food and of the busy people beyond the counter. The cafeteria has officially closed for today some hours ago, shortly before the sun has fully set.

Besides the one I'm using, there's only one other table occupied. A group of students are huddled around it, and they are discussing things I am remotely interested and aware of. But from the looks of it, they're probably from the debating club.

As usual, I am waiting for his classes to end. And him being an Engineering student, his last subjects end as late as 9 in the evening. We have dinner after that, and he sees me off to home. But no, he does not come with me to my residence; he only stays until I have safely rode the cab that will take me back to my apartment.

Because I do not want him there.

Or maybe I do, but I don't know.

I'm confused.

Athrun has always been a gentleman. As far as I know, I love him. And hey, isn't that why I went out with him in the first place?

He makes me happy. Makes me want to care for him. Makes me want to weep when he's lonely (over our cruel Fate, of which I'll tell you more about later). Makes me want to do things I really don't want to do unless they please him. Alas, the reasons why I love him, they're simply too many to tell. And who cares anyway?

I just love him.

Because I love him.

And I want to be with him.

But love has never been always simple.

That is why I am confused.

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We aren't meant to be together. I think. No, I know. Because, as much as it makes me happy, it hurts.

My family, they have made clear long ago that they do not approve of Athrun. And neither does Athrun's family of me. I do not know why—I don't care to know. But what I do know is that it is unfair.

But my family comes before Athrun, and I'm pretty sure Athrun puts me second to his family.

We can never be. We tried talking to our parents about it, hinted it during dinner table conversations during weekends, but they've always vehemently spat at the suggestion of me having a relationship with Athrun.

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We can never be.

Athrun and I can never be together.

That is why, we choose to tread the fine line between lovers and friends. And hide it from our parents.

We date, but there is no commitment. We have sex, but do not sleep with each other.

We are neither here, nor there.

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From my peripheral sight, I see the group of debaters rise and leave the cafeteria, and that prompt me to check my watch. 8: 47, it says. Just a little bit more, and he's here.

So, what do I do? Continue with this relationship that doesn't even have the right to be called that? Or completely sever the ties with the one I love?

What am I waiting for? Am I waiting for our parents to finally recognize our love? Am I waiting fro my love to burn out? Am I waiting for all of them to die? Or am I really waiting for nothing?

What in the world am I waiting for?

Right now, however, I am simply waiting for his footfalls to sound in these deserted halls. I am waiting for him to walk to my table, flash me that sincerely apologetic smile, and scold me for waiting.

And there he is. My long wait is finally over.

He asks where I want to have dinner, and I answer 'wherever you want.' He suggests a fancy Italian restaurant, the one that I went to with my family the other weekend. He puts his arms around me as we walk towards the night, my bag on his other shoulder.

And I realize, I don't give a damn about waiting.

I love this man, and as long as I'm careful, I can selfishly keep him and my family both.

I'll continue to wait—tomorrow, the day after that, forever—even if I'm waiting for nothing.

I know, I'll still have that roguish grin of his.

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**A/N:** _I wanted a story parallel to their GSD-ending situation. I'm very sorry for the convoluted narrative. It seems to me devoid of anything, especially sense and emotion._

_Anyways, reviews are very much appreciated. And loved. :)_


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